Our Current State is Not A Phase

Written by Kathy Coffey

This is not a phase

There is so much focus in this pandemic world on Phase 1, Phase 2 and the horizon of what we remember as normal, being that ever elusive Phase 4.

Racism is not a phase.

COVID is not a phase.

Leadership, kindness, respect and civility are not phases. 

These times have shined the light on many facets of our systems, societies and self that we may not have been prepared to address. The inequities in our healthcare system, how we deliver education and what policing looks like are examples of where the light has recently been the brightest - showing our inequities, cracks and age old methods that do not fit today. Nor do they serve everyone equitably.  It has also increased personal isms that come out when we don’t know how to cope - too much work, television, food and alcohol. We cannot escape where we are now. Isms serve no one well.  This is not a phase. 

I miss hugs. I miss meetings that attempt to solve issues. I miss seeing people’s whole bodies instead of a head on my screen in a square. I miss body language. I miss the arts and gathering and eating out. I miss being in a store and not having someone worry that I may infect them. I miss seeing smiles. I trust that all of these things are a phase. I trust that Phase 3 and 4 are on our horizon. I trust we will be given patience on days that this work seems the most impossible of tasks and that grace will be its companion. 

The terrible twos, teenage rebellion and the stages of grief are all phases. The moon has phases. The current trifecta of economic downturn, the COVID pandemic and social injustice are not phases. They require work, action, innovation and listening to begin to address solutions and ways to get to new and sustained practices.  We need to take action to support change. Change within. Change of systems that support our communities. 

In an effort not to succumb to all of our avoidance behaviours and isms, I encourage each of us to make time to reflect. Educate ourselves. Specifically about racism and the history of systems of oppression. No one taught me these things in school. I cannot combat or embrace what I do not understand. Develop interpersonal skills that help you to be your best. Learn your strengths and sit to figure out how you can personally have the greatest impact. Reach out to others. Especially our single friends and seniors. Vote.

My birthday is coming up and a family tradition has always been to bake a cake from scratch for the birthday person. Often, to bake from scratch, especially in a world of convenience these days seems unnecessary. The thought is that it pushes us out of our comfort zone. It allows creativity. It is an act of giving and going the extra mile.  It demonstrates a willingness to take time. To learn to do things we don’t know how to do with ease. It is not about the outcome of having a perfect cake,  but the willingness and the effort. The action. To grow our listening skills, come from a place of compassion, examine how whiteness and racism impact our personal lives and world; and to grow as leaders require us to step out of our comfort zones. To sit with what we do not know and ask ourselves what we need to show up as an ally, a better partner, a stronger mate and an individual invested in the human spirit in all of us. It requires us to do hard things that are not convenient because that action is the first step. 

Ask yourself - What is needed now? Be willing to get uncomfortable. Know that this is not going to simply pass. It is an ongoing process of reinventing ourselves and the places we live in.  This is not a phase.